Scripts, science and wooden alternatives by age to help you navigate the gift conversation with confidence and warmth.
The simplest thing you can say to a relative who is about to buy a screen-based toy is this: "We are trying to keep Christmas hands-on this year. Could you choose something they can touch, build or play together with us? A traditional wooden toy or game would be absolutely perfect." That single sentence, delivered with a warm smile rather than a policy document, does the job in most cases. It frames the request as a positive wish rather than a prohibition, it flatters the giver by implying their gift will be used, and it leaves plenty of room for generosity.
If you want to go further, the evidence is genuinely on your side. Researchers including Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff have spent decades documenting what they call "guided play," the mode in which children learn most readily: it is hands-on, open-ended, socially rich and largely free of electronic scaffolding. A beautifully made wooden toy or a traditional game invites exactly that kind of play. A screen-based toy, however cleverly marketed, tends to close the loop: the device does the thinking, and the child watches. Knowing that, you can speak to relatives not as a worried parent issuing rules, but as someone sharing something genuinely interesting about how children grow.
The World Health Organization recommends no screen time at all for children under two, and no more than one hour per day of sedentary screen time for those aged three to four. The American Academy of Pediatrics echoes this guidance and adds that the quality of any screen experience matters enormously: passive consumption offers very little developmental return. By contrast, researcher Alison Gopnik describes the under-five brain as a "lantern," flooding the environment with attention rather than focusing it narrowly, and that lantern is best lit by physical objects with varied textures, weights and possibilities.
What the Research Shows
Sosa (2016) found that when parents and infants played with electronic toys, there was significantly less adult language input and less child vocalisation than during play with traditional wooden toys or books. Fewer words spoken means fewer words learned: Hart and Risley's landmark research established the profound long-term impact of early conversational exposure on vocabulary and literacy. A wooden toy, passed between grandparent and grandchild on Christmas morning, is quietly doing language work that a battery-powered gadget simply cannot replicate.
Lead with gratitude before anything else. Relatives who buy gifts are expressing love, and that impulse deserves acknowledgement. Second, make your request specific and positive: "a wooden stacking toy" or "a classic board game the whole family can play" is far easier to act on than "nothing with a screen." Third, contact people early, well before they have bought anything, so that the conversation feels like helpful guidance rather than a veto. Finally, if you can send a short curated list, do so. Most grandparents are relieved rather than offended to receive one: it removes the anxiety of guessing.
"We would absolutely love it if you chose something you could sit and play with them on Christmas Day. We are keeping screens quite limited at the moment, so a traditional toy or game, something wooden if possible, would be treasured. I can send you a short list if that would help?"
"You always choose such brilliant gifts. This year we are trying to build up their collection of proper, lasting toys rather than anything battery-powered. A wooden toy, a puzzle or a traditional game would genuinely be the thing they play with most."
"We are on a bit of a mission to fill the toy box with things that will last and that we can all play together. If you are stuck, anything from Jaques London fits the bill perfectly: they have been making traditional games since 1795 and the quality is extraordinary."
At this age, the hands are the brain. Piaget called this the sensorimotor stage for good reason: infants and young toddlers build their entire understanding of the world through touching, mouthing, shaking, banging and dropping objects. Smooth wooden shapes, simple stackers, push-along toys and rattles with honest materials meet this need in a way that plastic, light-up alternatives simply cannot. Ask relatives for things that are open-ended, durable and beautiful enough to be handed down.
Explore Jaques London's collection of wooden toys, made for curious hands from the very beginning.This is the age at which imaginative play reaches full flower. Vygotsky argued that pretend play is the leading activity of early childhood: the arena in which children practise self-regulation, language and social understanding simultaneously. Traditional skittles, simple threading games, wooden puzzles and first board games all create the kind of shared, joyful challenge that builds these skills without any need for a power socket. Pre-schoolers are also, conveniently, the age group most likely to be dazzled by something beautifully made: the weight of a proper wooden skittle in a small hand is, in itself, a kind of delight.
The Power of Traditional Games
Trawick-Smith's TIMPANI study, which evaluated dozens of toys against rigorous developmental criteria, consistently found that simple, open-ended toys with no single correct use produced the richest play and the most sustained engagement. Traditional games from Jaques London, refined over generations of actual play, meet this standard in a way that newly released tech toys rarely do.
Children at this stage are ready for genuine rules, real challenge and the social complexity of winning and losing graciously. This is precisely where traditional games come into their own. Chess, draughts, dominoes, Ludo and card games all require working memory, strategic thinking and emotional regulation: skills that Diamond's research on executive function identifies as among the most important predictors of long-term wellbeing and academic success. A game that the whole family plays together on Christmas afternoon is also doing something a screen cannot: it is building relationship and shared memory.
Browse Jaques London's traditional games, crafted for families who want to play together and remember it.The argument that older children need technology to stay engaged is worth examining carefully. Gray's research on intrinsically motivated play suggests that children are hungry for agency, mastery and real social stakes: a well-matched game of chess, a fast-moving card tournament or an outdoor croquet match on Boxing Day delivers all three. Jaques London, which created the Staunton chess set in 1849 and invented croquet in 1851, has been answering exactly this need for well over two centuries. These are not consolation prizes for children who missed out on a console: they are the original games, and they remain genuinely compelling.
Copy this list, personalise the age band and send it to relatives with a note saying you would be thrilled with anything from it. Most people find a curated list an enormous relief, and the specificity signals genuine enthusiasm rather than restriction.
You can say, warmly and without apology, that the research on this is more nuanced than the marketing suggests. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that interactive, human-led play produces far better learning outcomes in under-fives than any screen-based programme. Kuhl and Meltzoff's work on language acquisition showed that babies learn speech sounds from live human interaction at rates that recorded or screen-mediated input simply cannot match. The short version for a relative: "The best educational tool at this age is actually another person, and that is exactly what a shared game gives them."
Show, do not tell. If you can, invite them to sit on the floor and play with the child using a wooden toy or game during a visit before Christmas. The engagement they witness will do more than any argument. You might also mention, in passing, that Jaques London has been making games since 1795, that it invented croquet and created the Staunton chess set: these are not dusty relics but objects with genuine heritage and continued relevance. "Old-fashioned" is a complicated compliment when it means two hundred years of children choosing to play with something.
Accept it graciously and do not make the moment difficult for anyone. You might decide to keep the toy for occasional, time-limited use, or to donate it quietly after a reasonable interval. What matters most is the relationship with the relative, who acted from love. Use the experience to start the gift conversation earlier next year, and consider sharing your preferred list in October or November rather than December. A gentle, timely heads-up is far kinder to everyone than a correction after the wrapping paper has gone.
Fairness is worth thinking about carefully here. Limiting screen time is not the same as limiting joy, and the two are often conflated. A high-quality chess set, a proper strategy game or a croquet set for the garden offers something a console does not: the chance to develop real mastery over something that has tested human intelligence for centuries, and to share it with people of any age, face to face. Brown's research on play across the lifespan suggests that the games which sustain the deepest satisfaction are precisely those with genuine social and cognitive depth. You are not giving your child less: you are, arguably, giving them more.
Britain's oldest toy maker. Every toy open-ended, wooden, and built for exactly the kind of play the research recommends.